In Jesus name, Amen. These are the words spoken to end the mealtime prayer, when we gather to “say grace”. But what happens after we say Amen, and what happens before we gather at the table? In other words, what do we bring to the table and what do we receive at the table?
Grace is a word that is thrown around so flippantly. In my journey as a seeker of the Way, I have wrestled with the notion of Grace. I have tried to grab onto the wings of grace and capture, trying desperately to understand it. I now realize that grace cannot be captured, for then it looses its potency and mystery. I need to grab onto the wings not to capture and understand Grace but to be carried - to love more deeply, to revel in being loved.
My show is the outcome of my wrestling with grace. “Restoration Project” was what I first termed this project. I began to restore furniture because I was deeply drawn to the symbolism found in restoration that is applicable to all of human life. There needs to be sustainability.
Through the restoration project I had planned, I came to realize and experience the restoration project that God has in store for me. Not only was I exposed to the dirt in the furniture, but also exposed to the dirt deep within me. I am in need of restoration.
It seems like God likes group projects. I realize that I’m not God’s independent study but part of the massive restoration project that God has in store for all of humanity. There is not a chair too broken that God cannot restore. He sees the dirt in us, but does not condemn us. God never gives up on us and refuses to call us refuse.
And He asks us to do the same to others. As He refuses to give up on us, we must work to be agents of His grace and restoration.
I have struggled to bring all of myself to this gathering place, to share my own exposed dirt. Yet, it is through being exposed that God teaches us about restoration and gives us the most powerful gift of all - Grace.
In Jesus name, Amen.
And we feast on Grace, for Grace is what we receive at the table and Grace is what satisfies our deepest longings. And it is the nourishment of Grace that will continually bring us back to the table of communion.
One day, as I was driving to church with my husband, I was scanning people’s front yards and I noticed a huge pile of junk at one particular house. The pile was obviously waiting for its fate on garbage day. I noticed a chair poking out from the pile and even though I had caught just a mere gli
mpse of the chair, I knew I wanted it and that I wanted to restore it.
After church my husband and I followed my whim and went to sort through garbage. I was a bit embarrassed walking out of the car towards the garbage… I desperately hoped no one would see me. I grabbed the leg of the chair and as quickly as I could, yanked it free from the pile of junk and stuffed it into the back of the car. I slammed the door shut and began to drive away from the gross garbage pile. However, we were unable to escape garbage stench, as the chair reaked of its former environment. We got home and I was able to carry it up to our third story apartment, fortunately without running into any neighbours. And not only did it stink, but the cushion was littered with filthy stains. I remember thinking, Ugh, this chair is so disgusting
I began to work on the chair the next day, determined to strip it of its filth. So much dirt had filled the cracks and crevices of the chair. I threw off the cushion that entangled the chair and freed the chair from its filthy stains. Yet underneath, I found a cracked wooden frame. More brokenness in need of restoration. It would have been easy to throw the chair back into the garbage but I liked this chair. Regardless, it was still a very beautiful chair.
I so badly desired to see this chair become what it was originally made and designed to be. It made me wonder, who made this chair? It was old enough that I was fairly certain that it hadn’t come shooting off a conveyor belt in a factory, but that it was indeed handmade. I don’t think it was created to look like every other chair in the world- this specific chair was uniquely designed. Even though the master and maker of this chair created it clean and perfect in the beginning, He must have known that the chair would eventually meet dirt, abuse, neglect and pain. However, He still lovingly crafted the chair. And the more I thought about it, I knew that the maker had never lost sight of this chair, no matter how far it had wandered away from the maker's shop. His eyes had never strayed. I know this because the maker's hands are still all over the chair. I can see the way His hand worked on the chair. The fine detail and shaping throughout the whole body is both intricate and beautiful. It was obvious that He took great pleasure out of creating this chair.
As I worked on restoring this chair, I felt an odd sense of connection with the maker of this chair. Not only that, but I was struck with how much the chair represented me and my journey thus far. I realize that only once I begin to acknowledge and accept my state of brokenness that true restoration takes place. And grace cannot be separate from restoration- it is what connects the old and the new. If I was like a perfect looking chair, why would I need grace and restoration?
I'm still working on that chair and in the end God is still working on me. I know that the chair is still far from what it used to look like- it still remains scarred and broken. It is far from being perfect. But God has given me new eyes to see this chair, to see myself. Brokenness does not mean garbage. It is often tied with beauty because there is always hope of restoration and grace. As I acknowledge and wrestle to be OK with my brokenness and the brokenness of the world, I realize that God never gives up on us and that we were never intended to be taken out along with the garbage.
And in the end, the chair belongs with all the other broken chairs at the table of their maker, empty handed but alive in His Grace.
Chair #1:
Share vs.
Hoard
Found Chair, Oil on Canvas, Chair studs February, 2008
Chair #2:
Humility vs.
Pride
Found Chair, Oil on Canvas, Chair studs February, 2008
Chair #3:
Compassion vs.
Abuse
Found Chair, Oil on PlasterMarch, 2008
Chair #4:
Freedom vs.
Abuse
Found Chair, Oil on PlasterMarch, 2008
For the Light has Come
Light is Coming for Sarah
Redemption for the Scarlet Woman
Freedom in Coming Home
Freedom in Coming Home
Waiting for the Morning
